When choosing us, they compare us. When we make a choice, we also compare. How to find out who is the better runner? Organize a race and compare the results. How to find out who is the more effective seller? You need to compare sales volumes. How to find out which girl is more beautiful? Compare them all in a beauty contest.
They started comparing me from childhood. Although this is at least not pedagogical. Often the comparison is expressed in such innocent phrases as: “Why are you walking around like a blockhead? There Petka, look, he always walks around dressed up and neat” or “You always find dirt somewhere, Lyoshka there always walks around neat.” And we hear reproaches in which comparison is hidden, first of all from the people closest to us, dads, moms, grandparents. What other opinion should you listen to if not theirs? It seems to be a shame for the reproaches, but you still look at Petka and Lyoshka, and compare yourself with them.
This is how, from childhood, the seed of “comparison” gets into us, and then sprouts abundantly.
School. There is a 5-point grading system for easier comparison of all students. And the teacher, who initially stands as a great authority for the child, continues in the spirit of comparison and uses the excellent student as an example: “There is not a single mistake in the entire text! What about you?”
Then we ourselves begin to compare ourselves with others.
It is clear that the principle of comparison in a person, and in me in particular, lies in the depths of the subconscious and is one of the “windows” through which I see the world around us. I don't just compare, I look at the world this way. This shows up in everything. When you are about to make a purchase, you compare different models phone, laptop or car, compare their prices.
When I was studying at the institute, it was the comparison with the people around me that pushed me to make serious changes in my life. I looked at some of my friends and thought: “No, I definitely don’t want to live like this!” It's just so much easier. Because for yourself there will always be indulgences and indulgences, but for others it is easier to notice shortcomings, weaknesses, or, on the contrary, strengths. Sometimes you just don’t have enough honesty with yourself and the courage to admit your weaknesses. But in another person you always “find a speck in your eye without noticing the log in your own...”.
Even in other people, we are most often irritated by what is in ourselves, we just don’t notice it in ourselves.
But even after setting the most successful of all my friends as an example, I came to the conclusion that comparing myself with others is not enough. The comparisons are too mundane. You can, of course, try to compare yourself with world-class stars. But what do I know about their lives, besides the bullshit that I read on the Internet or in magazines? Nothing.
Therefore, I came up with one tricky thing, which may not be new at all, but I will voice it. You need to stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing to yourself. Just don’t compare yourself with your past, but create the desired image of yourself in the future. To do this, you need to come up with this image in your head and, for clarity, describe it in words on paper, draw it, mold it from clay, make a computer model... In general, here, whoever is good at what. And strive for this image, constantly comparing yourself with it, and not with others.
Is the top half darker than the bottom? Cover the connecting line between them with your finger.
When it came to creating an image of myself, first of all I thought about the car I would drive, the apartment I would live in, my appearance, beautiful wife, position in society, etc. But for some reason I didn’t write it all down. Probably because I’ve done this many times before, writing it down as goals.
A couple of weeks have passed. And I settled on a completely clear position. Everything that is external in life will be applied on its own as needed. Internal changes and personality traits are much more important. Therefore, go ahead, “back to the future,” draw an image of yourself (if you are an artist and can really draw).
Here are a few basic qualities and characteristics that I wrote down for myself. They all relate to the same desired image.
Energy. I have a lot of energy, I know how to extract it from situations, get it from people, and even from space. I don’t splash it around, but spend it on achieving specific goals in my life.
Confidence. I am confident in myself, in what I do and in the future. I make the decision without hesitation.
Cheerfulness. The life nature has given me is the greatest of all miracles. I am happy about this gift.
Persistence. I achieve what I want. I bring the work I started to its logical conclusion.
Communication. One of the most important components of life. In communicating with people, I gain new knowledge, exchange experiences, expand my worldview, and get new ideas. Based on this position, I communicate only for my own benefit.
So, my friends, comparison is not just a habit. Therefore, there is no need to get rid of it. Just stop comparing yourself with others, wasting your time on envy or dissatisfaction, start comparing yourself with yourself. The way you want to see yourself.
P.S. After reading, add one or more items to this list in the comments on your own.
About the site
“Everything is known by comparison” Nietzsche.
Welcome to the comparison survey site site
A comparative survey site will help you compare things, phenomena, objects, organizations, and various products.A comparison site survey site will help you answer questions such as “What is better?”, “What to choose?”, “What do you like?”, “What to use?”, “Where is better?” "What's worse?" etc. Search engine sites help us find the information we need. Here you can always compare what you found
You can always create the comparison you need yourself,
The Veralline questionnaire site will help you find out the pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, find out what was previously unknown about those things and phenomena that were not paid attention to before.
Veralline makes you think, reflect, compare, but it also saves time, since all comparisons and surveys are collected in one place.
Veralline can also be fun; a section was created specifically for this; it compares things that cannot be compared in real life.
Every comparison on the Veralline website comes with free surveys. Surveys are needed to quickly find out what most people think. Voting is open-ended, so each comparison object can become a leader and overtake others listed in the survey.
Online voting, as mentioned above, can be done on any topic, you can make a comparison on a serious topic, or just on a topic that is interesting.
You can express your opinion or read the opinions of other people in the comments. If you find any error or misrepresentation of facts, you need to write to the author, or
At the age of 15, when I was still in school, I met a nice guy who attracted my attention. He was not handsome, he was slightly taller than me. We dated for a long time - three and a half years. But now it's - ex-boyfriend .
Since I was only 15 years old and he was 18, we initially had only a platonic relationship for a long time. Then we got close for the first time. Apparently I was not mature enough for such a relationship, so further intimate moments did not bring me joy. It was scary to tell him everything. I was afraid of offending him.
Besides, I liked his attitude towards me. He was caring, not rude, he loved me. But apparently I don’t have it. I realized such an important fact only after we broke up. But before the breakup there was a lot more, including constant tears and scandals.
After a year of dating, my ex-boyfriend was drafted into the army. For a moment it seemed to me that I loved him. Well, most likely, it was just a pity and scary to let him go to nowhere. Of course, I promised to wait for him. And I waited. I waited faithfully, wrote letters, my mother and I collected and sent him parcels with chocolates and other joys. I got along with his parents good relationship. We called each other, I went to visit them. In a word, for two years she was like a “faithful husband’s wife.”
It should be noted that I was only 16 years old at the time. Dreams of a further and happy life with him never left me. Until I entered college.
There I met a girl. We studied by correspondence in a neighboring city and went to sessions. Naturally they lived together and told each other all their deepest secrets.
She was also 17 years old and was dating a boy three years older than her. And we often had conversations about relationships. She told me how they went on vacation together, how they communicated with their parents and other little things. After thinking a little, I realized that I had never had such a relationship with my boyfriend. I began to envy her, and then I decided that when my beloved comes from the army, everything will follow the same scenario. It is worth clarifying here that there was nothing paradoxical or extraordinary in their relationship. They simply treated each other with love and soul. They enjoyed their time together.
My young man came from the army. Having hugged and kissed him, I did not feel that pull, that happiness that I expected from his arrival. I was angry with myself, I didn’t want to betray him after two years that we were apart. And he, apparently sensing my attitude, also began to move away from me. I began to go out with friends more and more often. Often he would stay overnight at a friend’s place, and I would sit at home and shed tears. Now I understand that I myself led this relationship to this outcome of events.
After “suffering” together for six months, I decided to break up with him. Of course, then I believed that he was the culprit. Resentment clouded my eyes.
A week later I found out that he started dating a girl. A week later, details of his adventures on the side began to emerge. And five months later, I learned from a mutual friend that he got married and would soon become a dad. Here's how.
After crying a little from the same resentment, I began to understand myself. It seemed to me that there was something wrong with me, that I was so callous and cold, incapable of love, and therefore no one needed me.
But my torment did not last long. I met my husband. The first time we met, I liked talking to him. It was interesting and tempting to be with him. And he, as it turned out later, fell in love with me at first sight. When I got married, I again thought that I was only allowing myself to be loved. That I myself have only respect for my husband. But now, after analyzing the whole situation and going through several difficult moments, I realized that I love my husband. I was convinced of this only when I projected the difficulties that had arisen and their resolution onto past relationships. What my ex-boyfriend and failed husband would have done. I looked at myself from the outside and realized that I would not be able to give my ex those feelings and the warmth that I now give to my husband.
Therefore, we can conclude that then I really didn’t love. And the decision to separate was made correctly. He is now happy with his wife and daughter, and with his husband and son. Still, it’s good that I have such experience behind me. I don't regret it at all.
If this is how spouses evaluate their family, that’s great! Should you doubt your family's assessment?
It is important to affirm such an assessment and support it. Outsiders may say that you are mistaken and point out some shortcomings. So be it. These comments may be real, or they may be made out of envy. Live by your own mind, rely on your opinion. Let those around you criticize you, and you can mentally say: “My family is the best,” or you can say it out loud.
Take care of your family happiness!
We have a good family
Sometimes things don't go well in a family. At the same time, the spouses overcome difficulties together and believe: “We have good family! This is right?
Definitely yes. Considering your family “good”, you cannot compare it with other families. Take for comparison the completed stage of your family life, in which you overcame difficulties and resolved problems. For example, you, through joint efforts, have achieved that one of you or both of you has managed to find a decent job, an income has appeared that allows you to plan for the future, you are a good family!
Such a positive approach will motivate to further improve life and maintain a positive family tone.
We have a bad family
Problems have accumulated, and it is impossible to overcome them or get out of a difficult financial situation. The situation has become tense, disputes and quarrels are arising more and more often.
“Are we a bad family?”
You should not exaggerate. Yes, things are bad and difficult for you now. And the family situation can deteriorate to bad.
But this is comparatively bad. Especially if you look at families for whom everything is simpler. It is better to approach the assessment of difficulties from a different angle. You can't give up. Find the strength within yourself to overcome obstacles. Consider the situation as a field of action to eliminate negativity and improve. It is not for nothing that the course of life is often interpreted as a change of black and white stripes. Let your assessment of the family as bad fall on the black streak, try to overcome it, strive for the white streak, then the “bad” rating will change to “good”.
We have an absolutely bad family
We cannot exclude the possibility that the spouses will come to this opinion. What to do in such a case?
The situation is serious and critical if the spouses feel that all possibilities for improving their lives have been exhausted. An absolutely bad family is not needed. Perhaps you should force yourself to just be patient while waiting for changes for the better. In the future, it’s not worth saving a bad family, you need to break off the relationship.
But this seemingly absolutely hopeless situation is still relative. After all, there is an opportunity, without repeating old mistakes, to create a new “good” family.
Fight for your happiness!
Without thinking about the assessment
“Excellent, good, bad” - this is how you can evaluate a family. Is it possible not to evaluate?
Apparently it is possible. If you don’t think about the assessment of your family, accept it as it is, you are satisfied with the family environment, there is no reason to think about the state of the family - you are great!
Be satisfied living for your family, rejoice, be sad, and live and rejoice again!
Literature:
- N. Kozlov. Formula for success or philosophy of life successful person. - M. AST-PRESS, 2002 - 304 p.
This is one of those scientists who rejected scholasticism and brought to the fore the power of their own mind, rather than the statements of old books. The statement: “I think, therefore I exist” also belongs to this thinker. If before him the main source of knowledge was faith, then the scientist-philosopher develops the concept of reason as an instrument of knowledge.
Folk wisdom?
Other sources, disputing this statement, unanimously root the folklore origins of the popular quote. If we accept the fact that this is best explained by the classic parable “Get a goat, drive out a goat.” The hero of the story prayed to the Almighty to expand his living space, he advised the unfortunate man to buy a restless animal and also place it in the house with his family. After a year of torment, the man returned to God with a single request - to ease his suffering. And when, according to new instructions, he drove the cattle out of the house and into the yard, the man was incredibly happy and thanked the Creator. After all, without the goat it became not only calm, but also spacious! The meaning of this legend is that peace and quiet are perceived as a much greater value after a mess than before it. It really is true that everything can be learned by comparison! By the way, this simple technique is often used by the “powers of this world”: they take away everything they can from the people, and then return it bit by bit, so they immediately become good.
Comparison is a tool of the mind
The phrase “everything is cognizable by comparison” means, first of all, that some features of an object or phenomenon that are not obvious can be made visual or cognizable in the case when a similar feature is absent in the object with which the comparison is being made.
The words: “Im Gegenüber, im anderen Menschen, erkennt nun der Mensch den (individuellen) selben Willen,” said Schopenhauer. This means that when comparing himself with other people, each person sees not them, but a reflection of his own will and personality. Therefore, identification will never allow you to even get closer to the truth, since a subjectively thinking individual is not able to give an objective assessment of this or that quality. Any comparison must have its own coordinate system, by which the presence of a particular quality to a greater or lesser extent is measured. It is not surprising that the intersection of the abscissa axis and the ordinate axis was also invented by Descartes. Comparison is a tool, not a moral category, and you need to know how to use it.
“Everything is known by comparison”: Nietzsche and his vision of the meaning of the statement
Everyone remembers Friedrich Nietzsche from his first year of higher education.
Ex-students roughly imagine that he is a theorist of free will and the dominance of the personal over the social, but to the question of why the philosopher said: “Everything is known by comparison,” no one will give a direct answer. And did he say that? Zarathushtra is silent. This one has wise man There is another no less interesting quote: “I do not trust all taxonomists and avoid them. The will to the system is a lack of honesty.” And systematics is also a tool of knowledge. The intuitive Nietzsche is not ready to talk about pure reason and working with its apparatus, so the quoted phrase most likely has nothing to do with the great thinker.
In any case, exactly what was mentioned above catchphrase can help justify the average person’s refusal of some traditional values (family, homeland) and in response to the question “why” say: “But it’s more convenient for me. After all, everything is learned in comparison.” Quote, whatever one may say! And it can be attributed to and the German author. And there is no need to mentally send Nietzsche to Solovki, he hardly knew what different readers would do with his name.
How to know the truth
Can we say: “Truth is known by comparison”? More likely no than yes. What is subject to cognition is whether an object has one or another quality, and truth, as the Ecumenical Patriarch Athenodorus said, is not one characteristic, but the totality of an infinite number of them.
So, the pure truth cannot be found by direct search. There will be its shades, reflections, slips of the tongue, remnants. Even the answer to a simple question about who was the first to say that everything can be known by comparison cannot be obtained using today’s tools of cognition. Modern book sources, for example, tend to attribute this phrase not even to Nietzsche, but to Confucius, and it is possible that he had a similar quote, and if it is translated correctly, then we can say that this statement also has Chinese roots.
Today's perception of the maxim
Our time is a time of know-nothings and know-it-alls who are looking for the truth by comparing different brands of cars. The concept of identification merely as a tool of cognition is not valued. Nowadays the phrase “everything is known by comparison” usually adorns shops, restaurants, and hotels. Mercantile time, mercantile quotes.
