How to teach your beloved guy to be attentive? We seek male attention. How to teach a man to be generous What works with girlfriends will not work with a man

Of course, you have a chance to meet a man who already knows and can do everything. But here it’s more like a joke: “What is the probability of meeting a dinosaur? 50/50: either you will meet it or you won’t.” Valeria Aginskaya, sexologist and program director of the Secrets Sex Education Center, says that rule No. 1 for a girl who has decided to become happy in bed is not to hope that there will be a partner who will understand without words where and how you need to be caressed and brought to enchanting orgasms . If you want to please yourself with his hands, take the process into your own.

GOOD PREPARATION IS HALF THE WORK

“Well, here we go again!” - you sigh tiredly. But wait, wait, we'll explain! Firstly, the female psyche is more flexible compared to the male. This means that it will be easier for you to take on the additional role of a sex teacher. Secondly, we are talking about your own safety, and in the literal sense. “For girls, the line between “very pleasant” and “unbearably painful” is quite thin,” explains Alexander Roitman, psychologist, psychotherapist and sexologist, “so you have every right to control your partner’s actions. Speak directly about everything you feel.”

And here’s the first piece of advice: talk openly about all your desires and feelings. Unexpected, right? Nonsense, don't thank me! Your appeal should sound soft, but at the same time concrete, without ambiguity, because men do not understand hints. And here a problem arises: medical terms in bed sound formal and cardboard, swearing sounds rude and vulgar. What should I do? Come up with your own intimate language, unique only to your couple. Choose cute or funny words for everything involved in sex, and never take them outside of the relationship so as not to devalue them. Yes, at first it will be funny to say them, but then you will get used to it.

TRUST AND CHECK

But declaring a desire out loud does not necessarily mean being heard. So that the seeds of enlightenment do not dry out, they must fall on fertile soil. Simply put, we cannot do without trust in each other. “By saying, ‘Be gentle with me,’ you will set even a man you don’t know well on the right wave,” says Alexander
Roitman. “But still, to realize most desires, intimacy is needed, which appears within six months of a relationship, but very bold ones may take two to three years.” How do you know that you have reached the desired state? You will feel: your partner will not judge you, no matter what strange proposal you make. And you yourself won’t think badly of him because of his frivolous imagination. Don’t want to wait six months to liberate yourself and your loved one? There is another way to relieve the awkwardness. “Sex is a game, and if your relationship in bed is built on it, you are more likely to teach a man to give pleasure,” notes Roitman. “Flirting, metaphors, humor - all this will help break down the barrier that makes it difficult for you to talk about desires.” If you want to know more, read the book “Sex in Human Love.” It's written by Eric Berne, an expert on the games people are passionate about.

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A friendly atmosphere will also play into your hands when you give a man valuable instructions for the future. “After sex, tell me how good it was for you, and offer to add a couple of new numbers to the program next time,” suggests Valeria Aginskaya. - Use the phrases “I want” and “I like,” avoid negative language and end criticism with additional praise. For example: “I am very lucky to have found such an understanding partner as you.” In this case, your words will not be perceived as a claim.”

CLOSER TO THE BUSINESS

Speaking directly about your desires is not so difficult, do you agree? No?! Then body language will come to the rescue. Valeria Aginskaya gives a lesson in sex linguistics: “If you like what is happening now, start breathing more often. Pull back a little, and your partner will understand on a non-verbal level that he is doing something wrong. Spreading your hips and your movements towards will show that you are close to orgasm. Do you want a young man to caress your nipples? Take a cowgirl position, tilt your breasts towards his face, and he will reach for it purely on instinct.” Without further ado, you can solve even such painful problems as the lack of foreplay. “You’ll have to set an example,” the sexologist advises, “say, try body massage. Stimulate the erogenous zones of your loved one with your chest and stomach, including the feet and head, but do not touch the penis and do not allow them to touch your genitals. Excitement is guaranteed for both of you, and the sex may be so good that next time your partner will want to do something similar.” Here's what you can try if a man is not inclined to oral sex. During a blowjob, position yourself so that he sees you in all your glory and his tongue is
close to a strategically important area. Use your hips to show how excited you are. Let the man feel that you are enjoying the process, and not serving a labor duty. This way you will break the stereotype that has taken root in his mind: “Cunnilingus as gratitude for a blowjob or as a way to bring a woman to orgasm.” What if your loved one does not allow you to touch his penis with your mouth (are you familiar with this? Send him to our museum!)? Perhaps your partner is afraid that you will be unpleasant and does not want to humiliate you. And if this is not related to religious or cultural attitudes, you can convince such a person by demonstrating to him sincere pleasure from a blowjob.

I often hear women complaining about their husbands for various reasons. The most common complaint is that a man rarely realizes what his wife needs, even if he is given a hint. Even if it's obvious. And you have to explain everything, write it down and draw up clear instructions. Preferably in writing.

And if this concerns household chores, then you can still somehow enjoy the result. But if this concerns loved ones or love relationship, then drawing up instructions often kills all the romance and joy. I want a miracle that will not be planned and prepared, but will simply happen. The ultimate dream is men with good developed intuition or just experienced. Those whom someone has already taught. But I don’t want to teach myself, because the feeling of miracle disappears.

Women and men are very different. And men more often than not perceive everything directly and have no idea about simple female desires. They're not stupid, they just don't know how. They are designed differently. And the desire to receive something from a person without explanation is in many ways childish. little child, who cannot yet explain anything, can expect the parent to be very intuitive and attentive and to be able to guess what the child needs. When parental intuitive love and care was not enough, a desire arises to receive it from the spouse. And not all spouses know how to satisfy this need. And in men, even those who have grown physically, there is a lot of boys who are confused in an incomprehensible situation.

During conversations with a large number of experienced women, I realized one simple truth. If we can rise above the situation, then we definitely need to look at it more broadly. Then this option works well: compose step by step plan what you want from a man, tell him and teach him. Say in great detail what you want and make sure that he understands, agrees with you and can do what you ask. We need to give him precise guidelines on how to guess and conduct field tests. And then completely forget about it. Forget about what you yourself taught and told, and find that childish part of yourself that is capable of enjoying and being surprised. And truly admire what the man does. This will give him the opportunity to take ownership of what he does and also enjoy it. And then do it with pleasure in the first person.

Wisdom and marital art lies in combining the position of an adult, when you tell your partner directly about your desires, the parental function, when you teach and then approve, the childish function, when you admire the result as if for the first time. And then the partner has the opportunity to understand, do, receive approval and make his experience truly his own. And an experienced man is precisely one who seems to be able to guess. Isn’t this what many women dream about?

How to make your husband more affectionate and gentle, attentive and caring, more romantic? For us women, this is not an idle question, because we want to see our men not only brutal and courageous.

The need for sensitivity never diminishes. Over time, it strengthens relationships more than sex because it best expresses feelings and care for the other person. So why do men have such problems expressing it and is there anything we can do about it? How can you make your husband become more tender, caring, attentive, so that his actions become more romantic and warm?

Love is intimate touching without erotic overtones. But it can also be shown by tone, word, gesture. It helps us feel loved, understood and accepted. Gives a feeling of closeness, security and confidence that our connection is based on a solid foundation. Is it possible to teach a husband to openly show warm feelings if until now he has done this extremely reluctantly?

Crybaby and sissy

It is worth remembering that men need tenderness just like women. And if they don’t show it, it doesn’t mean they don’t love. It’s just that from childhood they are taught to hide feelings associated with weakness. A boy should not cry, so as not to be considered a sissy and a crybaby. He can't hug because he will be counted mama's boy. Sensitivity and tenderness will only expose him to ridicule in front of his peers. Therefore, the boy grows up with the conviction that a man should not show his emotions.

When such a guy falls in love, he does not want his partner to know how defenseless he has become in front of her. A man keeps his love inside, believing that showing it is wrong for a representative of the stronger sex. That is, he will tell the woman that he loves her (but only once!), and then he will simply take care of her. The very fact that he spends time with her is indisputable proof of warm feelings for him. What else, from his point of view, can be added? The man himself, in principle, loves to be treated with tenderness. However, he does not know how to reciprocate. We will give you some tips on how to teach him this. Even if it seems like it's hopeless, it's worth trying.

Teaching your husband to be more affectionate and attentive: the science of tenderness step by step

Present your arguments

Explain to your partner that you simply need sensitivity, care, attention, and gentle treatment. Explain how they affect you (improves your mood, adds self-confidence, relaxes). Position them as a way to reduce tension between you. It would be good to mention that it is also good for his health. This is a fact! Men don't have many options for touch outside of sex. Even petting a growing child looks “suspicious.” Meanwhile, touch is important for their psyche. They even reduce the risk of depression and heart attack! It is not surprising that in situations of threat, people tend to them intuitively, looking for protection under someone’s wing. It doesn’t matter how old they are or what gender they are.

Give it an instruction manual

Say directly what you are waiting for. That you want him to take your hand. Stroked your head when you were sad. Don't be afraid that this approach will kill romanticism. We are talking about developing a skill, because the more often the husband makes such gestures, the easier it will be for him to behave spontaneously. And believe me, he may not even have a clue what's going on. at the moment you need it most, so why not give me a hint?

The principle of reciprocity

If you want your husband to become more affectionate and sensitive, behave towards him the way you would like him to act towards you. Give compliments, touch, surprise with heartfelt gestures, show understanding and condescension when he makes some mistakes and mistakes. Sensitivity can be contagious. Our natural response is to smile, hug, and express gratitude.

Reward is required!

Every time your husband manages to cope with a difficult task with dignity and demonstrate sensitivity and romance, show that you appreciate his efforts. To help him better understand how sensitivity “works,” add specific rationales. When you receive an SMS from him with a confession or pleasant emoticons, emphasize that this seemingly trivial message helped you survive a stressful day at work. And if he buys you flowers, don’t show surprise (“What have you done again?”). Tell him that by doing so he brought you a lot of joy. Thanks to this, he will feel like a patron, providing support to someone weaker than himself.

Tenderness in a masculine version

Better without witnesses

If your husband expresses tender feelings is difficult, don’t insist that he shows you affection in public. Let the moments in which he opens up to you emotionally remain your secret. When your partner is confident in your discretion, he will feel safer and will then be more inclined to make affectionate gestures.

Strong man

Your husband wants to be, first of all, a strong person, a support, a rock in your eyes. And he will be grateful to you if you show that you still consider him that way. Emphasize his virtues that he values most: responsibility, courage, ability to make decisions. Let him understand that he is a great support for the whole family. Then your loved one will not be afraid that gestures indicating his sensitivity and romance are perceived as a lack of strength.

Joyful intimacy

Men don't like to talk about emotions. Their reticence sometimes stems from the fact that they do not want to give the green light to this kind of discussion. Therefore, you should not interpret your partner’s sensitivity as an incentive to talk about feelings, because then he will avoid them like fire. These are not appropriate times to discuss problems in your relationship. Let them be a reason for the joyful experience of intimacy.

In his style

Do not set other, more sensitive men as an example to your partner, because this will have the opposite effect. Let him find his own way of expressing affection in which he performs best. Only then will the husband feel free enough to take the initiative himself and be more affectionate and gentle.

That for a woman, love is a feeling when she wants to take care of her loved one, she always wants to know how things are going with her loved one, she is ready to delve into the troubles of her loved one, constantly talk kind words to your loved one, to show signs of attention, to shower with compliments, to show tenderness to the object of admiration. And if a young lady in love does not receive such an “armful” from her chosen one, she may begin to reproach him for this. In turn, this confuses the man, he becomes annoyed, he angrily spreads his arms to the sides: and at this moment he completely does not understand what women want? The result of such a situation is the same - a quarrel, a feeling of resentment. The girl has a question: “How to teach a man to love?”

1. You need to understand and forever remember one simple truth: a man is a completely different creature. There is no point in waiting for him to suddenly begin to think like a woman and perform actions characteristic of a woman. This can't happen. Men have their own logic regarding everything that happens; they evaluate the world differently. Things that a girl attaches great importance to may be meaningless to boys, and vice versa.
2. Realize the fact that there is no man in the world who can guess what a woman is thinking. And he doesn’t understand the hints (even if, in the woman’s opinion, they are obvious and clear as day). Therefore, if you want your man to shower you with compliments and with gentle words, - tell him this directly! Say goodbye to the thought: “if he had real feelings for me, he would have realized it.” Tell the truth, are you able to guess what thoughts are “swarming” in a man’s head, what does he want now?
3. Remember, almost the entire male population does not like empty, meaningless conversations. This is how they even call repetitions of the same thing, which have no end, even if they are assurances of love. Next comes another woman’s mistake, which is very serious: equating two concepts: “A man doesn’t talk about love” and “A man doesn’t love at all.” Remember, if a man doesn’t talk all day and night about how strong his feelings are for you, this does not mean at all that he doesn’t feel true love for you!
4. If you want a man to show more tenderness, attentiveness towards you, and be more caring, try to act more softly, using “feminine tricks”. Forget about reproaches, scenes, scandals. Without being intrusive, with a sense of tact, lead him to the desired thought: “If this matters so much to her, why not give in? After all, women like such tiny concessions.” Praise your man as often as possible with sincerity, thereby proving that you like his compliments and the attention he shows to you.
5. Men are not like women, they think rationally, for them the logical meaning of an action is of great importance. Therefore, you can achieve the desired effect by saying that it will be useful for him if he becomes softer, more emotional, and shows more attention to people (and, of course, to you). For example, business negotiations will be easier, he will be able to attract new clients. Using such arguments, you will most likely achieve your goal.

Not long ago, BigPiccha announced the opportunity to attend a new training conducted by Ekaterina Lyubimova, head of the SEX.RF training center. The topic of the training was not disclosed. Of course, a huge number of people signed up, but the bravest ones came, and they were right.

Ekaterina Lyubimova created this training based on numerous, thousands of requests from women: “conduct a training for men.” But men do not want to learn, they cannot admit that they are limited by education and nature in matters of pleasure. Ekaterina found a solution by developing a special technique by which any woman can convey the finer points of adjustment to her partner female body.

And so, according to the old good tradition the only photographer where the “Photography is prohibited” sign hangs is BigPiccha.

ATTENTION! The photos under the cut are of an erotic nature. Minors, moralists and hypocrites should not enter! Content 18+

Ekaterina Lyubimova about the new training: “Of course, all of us - women - want our loved one to be perfect in bed. And often we simply try not to pay attention to the fact that this is not entirely true. After all, you shouldn’t break up over such a trifle and don’t commit adultery if your loved one can be taught sex. After all, each of us has our own tastes and preferences in bed - if he was magnificent with past women, this does not mean at all that you will like such magnificence. That’s why we created a training specifically for women: “How to teach a man sex?” in which everyone can find out their own desires and preferences, as well as find a way to get satisfaction from a man.”

1. Interesting option gift :)

2. At first glance, there is nothing new - tables, champagne, rubber dummies...

3. The topic of the training was not revealed until the very last moment.

5. The girls are noticeably nervous, although they hide it behind giggles. Still, it’s very difficult to talk openly about sex :)

6. Ekaterina Lyubimova - professional psychologist-sexologist, sex coach; starts with introductions and asks each training participant about the purpose of the visit. It seems that she can “pull out” a smile from even the shyest girls.

8. Almost all the girls say that they came to learn something new.

9. Finally, the intrigue is revealed: the new training is dedicated to a woman, her feelings and desires. And it is aimed at teaching women to convey their desires to their partners. And professional models helped Ekaterina at this training.

10. But fun aside, work begins.

11. Ekaterina talks about erogenous zones. By the way, it turned out that there are many more of them than most of us know.

12. For clarity and better memorization, girls mark them on the doll.

13.

14. Quite a lot of time was devoted to erogenous zones, which is not surprising. After all, if women themselves don’t know about all the zones, then what can we say about men :)

15. And then Ekaterina showed ways to influence erogenous zones.

16.

17. After the first part of the lecture, Ekaterina asks the girls to show how they understood the material they listened to - I had to practice on my friends’ cats :)