Here is a list of things that a foreigner with whom you are in correspondence should not do under any pretext.

In a word, this is a list of taboos for him. Each point is a STOP sign for you, slow down, don’t rush the locomotive, curb your ardor. If some points coincide, then you should cool down and turn on common sense.

Each point means that you have started to “swallow the hook”! So, it’s time to get off the hook, because now they are trying to manipulate you or force you to solve his problems at the expense of your time, money, energy, emotions, etc.

And if your man does half of what is listed below, this is a reason to think - are you spending too much time on him? Aren't you too tense and dragging all the relationships on yourself? But didn't you put it too much on your head? Keep in mind that if you are now 50% harnessed like a horse, then after the wedding it will be 70 and 100%!

If during the period of courtship your prince did not protect you from these problems, but also hung them on you, then what will happen next? Think about it calmly, weigh everything with a sober head. An exclamation point marked something that is simply UNACCEPTABLE. If there are more than two such points, I also advise you to say goodbye to this prince peacefully.

So, what should a normal man who is committed to a serious relationship NOT do:

should not DEMAND to delete the profile (after all, he deleted it! He has serious intentions, etc.)


should not follow you, look for you on different sites and accuse you - “what were you doing there???”


demand to be online at a certain time and nothing else

be jealous of some other men, that you didn’t answer the letter, that you refused to go on Skype because you were busy, but he doesn’t believe you, etc.


call any time it is convenient for him
! ask you to call him yourself (especially in the first letter!)
! asks to send money or a gift (it doesn’t matter - to him or any of his “family”, for a birthday or for a funeral) This is added to the basket, without hesitation, without emotions and regrets! Don’t write accusations in response, keep everything quiet, just move on. Forget that and that's it. And no offense to him.)

shouldn't complain much about ex-wife

! does not turn on the camera, but requires you to turn on your camera and so on all the time!

! should not ask to send your nude or semi-nude photos

!!! asks to show naked breasts or other parts of the body to the camera (if you asked for this once, throw it in the trash, DON’T DELAY!)

! should not constantly write detailed letters of erotic content

!! should not constantly ask questions about your favorite positions, and other details of bed love things

! should not insist that you answer - what kind of underwear do you like to wear or like - “are you wearing panties now”?

should not ask questions about sex and erotica all the time, maybe once or twice and as if as a joke.
Men can test you, your reaction and degree of chastity with such questions, he can feel the boundaries of what is permitted by you. It’s better to answer such a question with a modest joke and ask not to write more about it.
Think about it, would you ask a stranger for details of sex? No? But he asks you this... Ah! Well, yes, you will think - But this means that he already considers me his woman! After all, that's what he said - “You are not alone now, you have me. I am your man!”

Fine. If you already have a man, he is. So answer this question honestly - does it somehow help you with your problems?

If not, then this is not your man yet, so there is no point in discussing sex topics with him. Because he's having so much fun, come back to earth now, don't fly high in your dreams, it will hurt to fall, believe me, I know what I'm talking about. So if a man writes a lot about sex, he is either testing you or having fun (it can be difficult to know for sure which exactly, since it depends on many factors). But one thing I can say for sure is that if he does this all the time, he doesn’t respect you. And if a man does not respect a woman, he will not marry her.

03/02/03
Sharing photos on the Internet is futile, absurd and kills any communication in the bud. I’m irritated by enthusiasts who are ready to hand me their portraits, but even more irritating are persistent requests to demonstrate my virtually digitized appearance. I am fundamentally against such things, because I value exclusively the image created during the conversation (correspondence), I don’t care about the rest. but I gave up a couple of times, I confess. Either the interlocutor begins to salivate profusely, reducing the conversation to proposals to meet, or the hopes of meeting with a black model, casually driving by in a Mercedes on the arm of President Putin, are not met... A dead end in any case.

HimEra, 04/02/03
I have a scanner, but I’m too lazy to scan a photo:) I usually scan some pictures for website design or work - gifts for friends online, but a photo.. If, when communicating via Ace, a guy asks for a photo in the first 10 minutes, he immediately loses it for I have every interest. I asked one directly: what if he doesn’t like my photo? If I'm some size 70 or have a huge scar across my face? So the comrade answered in all seriousness that he would stop communicating with me. And in general, since a guy asks for a photo, especially from your own city, he’s just looking for a girl... but on the Internet it seems so easy to find her... Freeloaders.. In real life it’s more difficult to meet people, I suppose he’s got such a face that girls they walk around a kilometer away :))) In general, I agree with Virgo (gee-gee, I’m also a Virgo in a sense - according to my zodiac sign) - it’s a vicious circle. A photo is not needed for online communication.

Elizaveta III, 05/02/03
In the first few weeks of communication, this is generally pointless, I’m not even talking about the first 10 minutes - the phrase “send your photo” at this stage is equal to the phrase “now I’ll look at you, and then I’ll decide whether your appearance is worth being with you.” talk". The proof of this statement is that no one can really explain why he was given the photo, because... You obviously can’t like a direct answer. No, if someone is satisfied with this approach, then that’s their business, but it offends and offends me, so I send a photo in extremely rare cases and not immediately (by the way, after that nothing changes and no one disappears anywhere :))

Elizaveta III, 05/02/03
Other people's photographs, offered right away, also do not cause anything but bewilderment, you don't know the person yet and you don't know whether he will be interesting to you at all, so the attitude towards ANY of his photos will only be sluggish and polite indifference. By the way, no one noticed that those asking for photos in the early stages of dating never become interesting interlocutors– at first I even tested this theory – but it works! So now for me this is one of the criteria for selecting virtual acquaintances.

Virgo, 05/02/03
This irritates me. Like a bride's viewing. But we’re not going to the registry office, we’re just talking about this and that. Besides, I don’t like being photographed - when you want to look natural, you end up looking ridiculous; when you make faces, you end up with a smile from a fashion model. Paradox. The photos coming from other ends are striking in their monotony. Men - always with a car, computer or other symbol of financial well-being. I remember one subject sent a photo with a homemade motorcycle. The unit impressed me so much that I didn’t even notice the hero of the occasion, “expiring with sexual languor.” He asks “how is it?” I say "great car, I can't say anything." He “And me?!.. And me???..” Hmm, what did you expect to hear, baby? after all, I talked to you for about five minutes, and what you told me did not in any way make you stand out from the furniture...

Bastinda, 14/03/04
Most often people ask for a photo with whom I barely managed to meet on ICQ or in chat. Well, I'll send you my photo. Well, look at me. Well, would you like to meet? But I don’t want to!!! I can’t, and I don’t see the point in translating such barely begun acquaintances into reality. A waste of time. Let's better sit with you and chat in ICQ. Tell me how you're going crazy. Tell us how you would like your obituary to look. Tell us what you scream when you come to the stadium to cheer for your favorite team. Tell me... And then I’ll think about whether to send you my photo.

Stupidity, 14/03/04
And also, when they ask for a phone number, an address, a kiss... What else do they usually ask for? I don't like it, in short. If I want, I'll give you everything myself. And a photo, and a phone number...)

Axiom, 14/03/04
It happens that someone knocks on ICQ, you start talking to him, and the second phrase is: “send your photo.” For-dol-ba-li! For me personally, appearance is absolutely not the most important thing in a person. And I have no intention of communicating with these people from ICQ in real life. And why do they need my photo? To hang it on the wall and admire it, or what? And if you don’t like it, stop communicating. This is just bullshit. Like this.

Nobody, 14/03/04
Axiom, yes yes yes! You're right. I myself never ask for a photo, why would I need one? I don’t care who sits at another computer and communicates with me: a handsome man or a decrepit old man. Communication itself, the mind of the interlocutor, is important to me. After all, on the Internet, appearance means nothing. For me that's true.

Alisher, 05/03/05
It's annoying. Both on the Internet and by regular correspondence. Firstly, you are unlikely to date in real life, so who cares how beautiful you are. Secondly, it’s somehow interesting to come up with the image of a person yourself. Thirdly, somehow it’s not so scary. In general, if you are not looking for a sex partner, what role does appearance play?

Svetushkanchik, 12/01/09
1. How can you tell what kind of person a person is from a photograph? Not everyone has cool cameras. Then, what if the person is not photogenic? For example, people who saw me first in photographs, and then in real life, said that I am much better in life :) After all, a photo conveys one particular moment, but when you see a person live, it’s completely different. You see his facial expressions , emotions, etc. 2. I know such cases as, after they show their photo, either communication then abruptly stops and the interlocutor is immediately offline, or they begin to pester you with indecent proposals. In general, my opinion: If a person just wants to communicate, then what difference does it make what your interlocutor looks like? If a guy is looking for a girl for a serious relationship, then he will not ask her for a photo, only later, after a long conversation. And if he doesn’t even really know you yet, he immediately asks the photo is understandable why he is looking for a girl.

Svetushkanchik, 12/01/09
Answer to those who write like “Those who hate sending photos most likely just look terribly bad.” The girl may just be afraid of the consequences, that her photos will then go all over the Internet or something like that. And then, if a guy asks a girl for a photo, then let the first one show his photo! You never know who can sit there pretending to be a young, handsome guy)

LoveUSA, 26/06/09
Because those who, after 10 minutes of communication, ask to send a photo, most likely have only one thing on their mind, even if he is abroad and we will never meet anyway. I sit in chat rooms purely for the sake of online communication and the conversation is quite enough for me.

daNia, 05/07/09
This is being asked to be done by people with whom I do not plan to ever meet or continue long-term communication. Why do they care what I look like? It's like there's nothing else to look at on the internet.

Melt water, 18/03/10
Why should I show it to who knows? You'll get by. I am not on the Internet to send my photos to everyone. And when they immediately ask me to send a photo, it starts to infuriate me, it’s immediately obvious that they are evaluating whether I’m good or not. I don’t care what they think, whether I’m beautiful or not, I just hate sending my photos to strangers. let them go through the forest!

Aliina, 11/05/10
Of course, I don’t mind being looked at one more time, but I don’t care what a person looks like in reality, I’m not going to meet him and build a relationship.. And some people ask for a photo, and then for fun you say “you go first,” and they they start arguing like “I asked first”...hahaha... Well, okay, having sent my photo, well, I don’t really care what he says, but if he sends me his photo it starts, “Well, how do you like me?? Did you like me??” And there’s also some kind of freak =D...here I’m not telling the truth, but normal or good...=D

Zvezdotka, 02/06/10
Well, I used to be a fan of people giving me a photo and giving me my own, because I hoped that I would meet my prince on a white horse here. I had many stories, all of them hurt from this virtual affection. And from that moment I decided to fall in love for real. I had a case when I talked with a guy for a long time, but there was no point, I begged him every second, he encouraged me, and then like why do I need this. I couldn’t even ask for his photo, which means this person didn’t hope for a meeting, I thought so or didn’t need it, but he put me in this hope, isn’t it stupidity.

keep doubting, 14/05/11
I have a bad experience with sending photos) I like to send genre photos: here we are in our satanic circle making animal sacrifices, here I am at a master class on cutting up corpses in the morgue, here are photos of an accident: I am sending an air balloon against the backdrop of meat mixed with metal kiss! If we communicated on Skype, then most often the interlocutor begins to stutter and sigh. Which is annoying. And when I was young, I talked to a guy. The conversation was enjoyable, but somehow the devil pulled me to ask for his photo. Sent... After that, I slept with light for a month and was baptized at every rustle.

Naf Nafych, 15/03/12
To tell the truth, it’s a shame for me to complain about such requests, if only for the simple reason that if such a thing happened, it was extremely rare. I’m not a greedy person and I don’t seem to lose anything by sending photos, but there are reasons why I don’t like to do this. Before sending a photo to your interlocutor (say, a girl), you need to sort through many photos where I would look more or less photogenic, and this is also hemorrhoids. Secondly, you should also be careful when sending photos to strangers (even a girl). It is unknown where and in what place your face will end up and how it will be used. And honestly, who needs my photos? A photographic portrait in itself gives only the most cursory idea of ​​the interlocutor, namely: appearance and nothing more. It happens, and quite often, that for a number of reasons in real life a person may look different from his image in a photograph and the first positive impressions of a photograph received via the Internet disappoint his applicant.

Anonumys, 17/10/12
I have nothing to send! Yes, even if I send something, they won’t want to communicate with me, because I’m a freak: D I generally don’t like to show my face. It's better to be a stranger, a random person you meet.

Caramel with Vanilla, 25/04/13
Isn't hoo-hoo ho-ho? I don’t want some stupid nerd to masturbate at the image of my angelic face. Ugh, in general, virtual dating is a real perversion. Dull, putrid and disgusting.

KatyaKon, 19/06/15
But definitely not because it’s scary! I don’t like it when, having barely written a couple of lines, the interlocutor asks for a photo, a phone number, or maybe just a key to a safe deposit box, what’s too shy. Firstly, I would hang a photo in my permanent mailbox, but never in a dating mailbox, this is especially dangerous in small towns, where everyone is at your fingertips, and gossip is a dirty and unpleasant matter. And then, if the interlocutor is too lazy to spend a little time on a conversation, then the goals of this sex tourist are clear. Again, it’s not clear how he posts this photo. I don’t need a photo of my interlocutor; I don’t need to drink water off my face. I am more impressed by intelligence, intelligence, and at least some adherence to spelling rules. My writing is far from perfect, but when there are three mistakes in a word, or something vulgar, I don’t want to read, I start to joke.

yuki okumura, 04/08/15
I almost agree with the vanilla caramel. Of course, you can communicate virtually and transfer the communication to real life, but I want to make sure that the interlocutor is interested in me, and not my appearance, so for the first few weeks of communicating with a person I definitely won’t send my photo. And when I communicate with someone on the Internet, it simply means that on the site where I am I can communicate. I believe that it is wrong to communicate virtually in order to transfer meetings to real life. It’s better to immediately communicate in real life, then you can see not just one picture, but many at once, you can see a person’s movements, hear your voice well, and this is much more useful than sitting at the computer for a long time at home.

Question to a psychologist

I am 36 years old (my husband died), the man is 35 (he is a policeman, divorced). We have known each other for about 7 years, there is no sexual relationship yet, we correspond via the Internet. He knows my phone number, but for some reason he has never called, he prefers correspondence via the Internet. He used to come to our house when I lived in civil marriage with another man. Now I live alone. In our correspondence, at the beginning, he found out what I loved, what I was interested in, all sorts of details about life, and asked me down to the smallest detail, like an investigator. Now he is trying to persuade me to have sex, he finds out what kind of sex I had. At the beginning of the correspondence, there were too many compliments from him towards me. We have been corresponding for 5 months now, since we live far from each other (we used to live in the same house). For 4 months he wrote me nothing but compliments. For the last month he has been writing that he wants to have sex with me. But what struck me most was the fact that he asks me to send him a naked photo, he asked me more than once. I don’t even know how to continue communicating with him or put an end to the relationship. Tell me, when a man asks for a naked photo, what does this mean? I'm already kind of afraid to meet him...

Hello, Tatyana! let's look at what's going on:

We've known each other for about 7 years

knows my phone number, but for some reason has never called, prefers correspondence via the Internet

those. he does NOT prefer live communication- have you met him? did you communicate in person? after all, correspondence does NOT provide any information about a person - what are his traits, habits, style of responding to different situations, how does he communicate with family, friends, what are he interested in?

In our correspondence, at the beginning he found out what I like, what I’m interested in, all sorts of details about life, and asked me down to the smallest detail, like an investigator

however - YOU yourself followed all these rules of the game - YOU maintain contact with him, answer, accept his compliments, answer various questions - it is HE who recognizes YOU - and NOT YOU! For what? to use this information in communication with you!

(of course NOT as an investigator - that’s how YOU see it!)

what did you find out about him?

Now he is trying to persuade me to have sex, he finds out what kind of sex I had.

do YOU ​​want this? If NO, then why are you patient? Why don't you tell him about this?

We've been corresponding for 5 months now

For 4 months he wrote me only compliments

and all this time YOU accepted it! It’s easier to talk to a person on the Internet, since he’s actually not around - and accordingly, he DOES NOT see you - then what are the compliments about?

For the last month he has been writing that he wants to have sex with me. But what struck me most was the fact that he asks me to send him a naked photo, he asked me more than once. I don’t even know how to continue communicating with him or put an end to the relationship

but be careful with this! Under no circumstances should you send your photo (YOU DON’T imagine how many different situations there are in life!) - and it’s worth thinking for yourself - would a mature person who needs YOU - would maintain a relationship in virtuality? offer sex? and send a photo?

Tell me, when a man asks for a naked photo, what does this mean? I'm already kind of afraid to meet him...

in principle, it is impossible to say what is really behind this - after all, YOU are describing the situation as YOU see it (and we DO NOT know what HE sees) - BUT - you should be careful in relationships of this kind - it is easier for a man to communicate on the Internet (the question is why ? or is afraid to build relationships in reality - or to bear responsibility - to take any steps in general) - but what’s next? after the photo? meetings and sex? unlikely (it is quite possible that there are problems in this area too - that’s why he switches to virtuality!)

but it’s up to you to choose - if you want to build relationships in this way - build - the responsibility FOR your choices is on YOU! Just think about it - what does this relationship give YOU now? what do YOU ​​have? is there a real relationship? plans? and what will this relationship give? because if you agree to everything, answer, send, then you will show him that you accept all this! hear yourself! what do YOU ​​want?

Tatyana, if you really decide to figure out what’s going on, feel free to contact me - call me - I’ll be glad to help you!

Good answer 2 Bad answer 0

Good day! I am 20 years old and 1.5 months ago I had my first boyfriend. Before that, we had been communicating with him for a year, corresponded daily, and sometimes walked together. But nothing more. Now every weekend we go for walks from morning to evening. Everything seems to be fine, but seeing each other once a week is not enough. We started sending each other our photos so that we could at least see it that way. some time ago he asked me to send a photo in the lotus position, a few more similar ones... it seems like nothing terrible, in clothes, but my legs are spread everywhere and it confuses me. He said that he liked my figure, butt, chest, and that these were the poses because the above looked great on them. It’s probably normal when a guy experiences not only spiritual, but also physical attraction to a girl. I’m afraid of offending him, because I myself don’t see anything particularly terrible in these photos, but these poses still confuse me. Tell me, should I send photos of this kind to my young man and if not, then what is the best way to explain the refusal to him so that he would not be offended, but would understand me?
Thank you very much in advance!!!

Hello, Natalya! let's look at what's going on:

I’m afraid of offending him, because I myself don’t see anything particularly terrible in these photos, but these poses still confuse me.

You should decide for yourself - what are you afraid of? his wishes? his attractions? sex? What worries you so much? on the one hand, say that you don’t see anything wrong with this, BUT on the other hand, something bothers you. What? How do you feel about yourself as a woman? Or is this area still new and unusual for you? Voice YOUR feelings to the young man - You should listen to yourself - WHAT YOU want and WHAT motivates you and convey THIS to him - just DO NOT say that the problem is with him - but talk EXACTLY about yourself and your feelings. You should NOT be afraid to OFFEND a person - YOU NEVER know how you can offend, and what - NO - relationships are built by TWO people and only when they can talk to each other they have a chance to get to know each other - talk about your feelings, about your fears . Understand yourself - WHAT speaks to YOU? you need to work with exactly what is happening inside YOU - and if a young man is offended, then this rather speaks of his immaturity, and NOT that you need to please him. You are NOT ready yet, you are afraid of the sexual context in a relationship, because while the relationship has just begun, let it build and develop, learn to open up and get to know yourself, work ON your

With the advent of the Internet, the world has changed completely and irrevocably. It helps us work, travel, study, have fun and, of course, make friends, writes Lady.mail.ru.

“It used to be like this: people met, went on dates, communicated, became close. And only after that they had sex,” explains psychologist and sexologist Inna Melnikova. - Now everything is happening backwards: people meet on the Internet because there is no time. People want emotions, but do not want to waste time and energy on courtship and getting closer. Therefore, correspondence rather leads not to a meeting, but to the exchange of details of personal life and piquant photographs.”

If previously established couples used to send erotic photos to each other in order to bring something new into the relationship and maintain intimacy in the event of a long business trip, now you can send a playful photo to a stranger from the site. The difference is not only in the speed of transition to something more personal, but also in trust: in the first case it is there, in the second, alas, it is absent.

“The problem is that even short-term communication on the Internet (from a few days) creates the impression as if you already know each other and know everything about each other,” says Inna Melnikova. - You can look at your partner’s profile on social networks, read what he writes about. However, the Internet only creates the illusion of trust and intimacy. In fact, this is not the case."

Who sends and why?

It would be foolish to deny that both men and women do it for pleasure. And yet, not only.

“Men want to save time. They want to assess in advance, from photographs, how attractive a woman is. But most often they don’t write about this directly. But they simply send their photos, encouraging the woman to do the same,” says Inna Melnikova.

The logic of men is simple: if we had already communicated before meeting on the Internet, talked about personal things and even exchanged photos, then at the first meeting in real life the likelihood of immediately having sex increases greatly.

“Women, for the most part, still focus on a longer relationship. When a man appears that she likes, she thinks that she can create a relationship with him. And if he asks for a photo, she is afraid of losing this opportunity by refusing him,” the expert believes.

Men manipulate this fear, insist, put pressure. But it is important to understand: those who are truly interested in communication, acquaintance and relationships will not be afraid of refusal.

There is such a nuance: communication via the Internet continues as long as there are emotions and dynamics. Intimate photos help maintain excitement and drive. To maintain a connection, you need a stronger incentive, more candid photos. If nothing new appears in a relationship - meetings, communication, acquaintance, recognition - then all that remains is to stimulate this correspondence only with photos.

How to protect yourself

Inna Melnikova offers several ways to protect yourself.

1. Send not your own photos, but someone else’s. And you don’t have to impersonate someone. Basically any exciting photos beautiful women, men and couples, will do a good job of stirring up mutual interest.

2. Make sure that your face is not included in the frame. Even if the photo pops up somewhere, no one will recognize the owner of these gorgeous breasts.

3. Don't be afraid to refuse. If a man really likes a woman and he wants to meet her, refusal will not bother him.

4. Make a beautiful erotic photo shoot in the studio. Even if you don’t decide to show it to anyone, you will still get a great experience that liberates and raises self-esteem.